Studies Prove American Business Undergrads Are the Dumbest Of All the Majors

Tom and Miro interview Swiss business student Firat Aslan, international student of mystery, about the benefits of a global education. And today’s jargon will get you hugged in northern Switzerland and beat up in southern Switzerland.

This episode is brought to you by Venture Cafe. Because great things happen when smart
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(1) Headlines: Business majors are dumbest

The New York Times and The Chronicle of Higher Education reported the results of the National Survey of Student Engagement. They discovered what me and any of my phi Beta Kappa friends could have told you. Business majors are dumb.

Undergrad business majors had the Lowest GMAT Scores of any other major taking the GMAT.

What? that’s supposed to be their thing

That’s like saying Sprinting Majors from the Cambridge School of Running are finishing last at NCAA running contest.

Also, they don’t actually do any actual running, they only do tons of group projects about running.

Out of all undergraduate students business majors spend the least time studying and improved the least over their careers in writing and reasoning.

But they were statistically tied with education majors.

Oh great, the only people as poorly educated as business majors are educators.

But, wait, I can explain all this. Why do you choose business as a major? Because you want to get a kick-ass finance job.

And we all know that those jobs are not given out to people with good grades. Networking is what gets you those jobs.

What they should really be judged on is salary. They get higher salaries than average coming out of school. How is that not success?

Scientists and engineers do even better than that, and some majors , like philosophy close the gap by mid career.

That’s why we need to get rid of the undergraduate business major. You can learn bean counting at the bean factory when you graduate. Spend college to learn how to think.

Get rid of it? Business is the biggest undergraduate major. The marketplace is calling for MORE business undergrads, not less. And they’re making more money too, which means they’re basically better people.

Dude, I’m a better person because I can evaluate history through the lens of the Hegelian dialectic, not because I can read a balance sheet.

I’m not so sure.

How else could I have written that Marxist critique of the NPV equation?

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/17/education/edlife/edl-17business-t.html?_r=1&hpw

(2) Interview - Swiss, Turkish Undergrad

INTRO: Firat is an Undergraduate business major at University of Applied Sciences, Northwestern Switzerland Current on tour in the US with swissnex. A trully international man of mystery.
Networking New York

http://nwny.ch
http://swissnexboston.org/
http://www.xing.com/profile/Firat_Aslan11

(3) Jargon: Gruezi

Hello in Swiss

(4) Business School Tip of the Week: Learn A Language

BONUS CONTENT TEASER
If you are looking for a cheap and easy way to build a community sign up for the newsletter for access to our bonus interview with Carrie Stalder, manager here at the venture cafe.

(5) What’s on your Radar?
Miro: 2 hour meditation workshop
Tom: 2 minute meditation workshop proving that I’m 60 times more efficient than MiorKaz.
Firat: Going to NY to visit Wall Street!

How MBAs Can Save Thousands of Dollars on Taxes

Warning: this episode could save you money. With tax day approaching, MiroKaz and TheRealTomRose walk MBAs through how to deduct tuition on their tax returns.

(1) Headlines: MBA - 1 IRS - 0

A maryland nurse has outduled the IRS and won a court case allowing her to deduct the expenses from her MBA on her personal taxes.

MBA’s not paying taxes. Yes! Another way that MBAs can screw the common man.

Tom, this is just a loophole that MBAs are exploiting. This write-off was designed to encourage that blue-collar worker struggling at night school to build better life for his family.

Blue collar? Hello. What color is this?

You shouldn’t feel bad about taking this deduction. School is a business expense. Why do people go to school? The main reason is to secure employment. Are printing resumes a business expense? Then school should be a business expense too.

Tax deductions are a way for the government to inceitive certian behaviors. Doctor’s and lawyers are clearly excluded from this deduction because we don’t need tax breaks to get people to go to med school. . We don’t need to provide tax breaks to encourage people to get MBAs.

Did you take it?

Of course.

(2) Business School Tip of the Week

How to take advantage of the MBA Loophole. We’re going to show you exactly how to save thousands on your taxes.


Wait wait wait wait. Before we start, it’s important that we use protection.



What are we about to do?

I’m talking about legal protection.

We are not tax professionals.

So, we have prepared a quick disclaimer that we need you to read.

That’s great. I’ve boiled it down to it’s essance : DON’T SUE US.

No seriously, we barely know what we’re talking about half the time. So, don’t sue us.

If you’re going to sue us, stop watching now. We’ll wait.

Now that it’s just Canadians watching the show...

First, figure out if you’re elegible:

1) Do you need you your degree to qualify to perform the job you want to do?
- Correct answer: NO
-This excludes Doctors, lawyers, and accountants.

2) Are you career switching?
- Correct answer: NO
- Crap, all MBAs are career switchers, that cuts out tons of people.

Well, not so fast. I worked for an web traffic measurement company before this and i’m becoming an education entrepreneur, but I think of it as extending what I did before. It’s online, and it extends all the skills I learned in my prior job.

I get it, I used a cell phone at my last job, and i’m planning to use a cell phone at my next job, so that’s really an extension of the same career.

Are you TRYING to get me audited?

Audited? Dude, you’re an entrepreneur. You’re not going to make any money.

Well, just in case, I prepared this... [IRS, Take him! banker]

Oh please, I’m bullet proof. I have tax lawyers up to here. What’s the point of being rich if you can’t afford OJ style justice.


3) Is this required by your employer or does it improve skills required in doing your work?
Correct Answer: Yes
- Can’t write off your yoga classes.

Unless your school offers them.

4) Are you carrying on your ‘business or trade’ while in school
Correct Answer: yes

Doesn’t this exclude ALL full time MBA’s?

No, because the courts have ruled that almost anything counts as “carrying on”.

TEASE: In bonus content we’ll talk about how full time MBAs can deal with the the issue of carrying on and how this works for consultants and bankers where firms primarily recruit MBAs.

To get the bonus content, go to www.TheMBAShow.com and sign up for our newsletter.

http://finance.yahoo.com/taxes/article/108550/nurse-outduels-irs-over-mba-tuition?mod=taxes-advice_strategy
http://bucks.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/01/20/when-you-can-deduct-the-cost-of-your-mba/
http://bucks.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/01/26/more-on-mba-tuition-deductions/

3 Reasons Why All MBAs Should Teach

MBAs are applying to Teach for America in record numbers. Babson's Olin School of Management launches a satellite campus in Silicon Valley, and Tom & Miro talk about how you should give a lecture in something you know nothing about.

Welcome to the MBA Show teachers edition.

Does that mean we have all the answers in advance.

I think the only think we know for sure is that we DON’T have all the answers.

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(1) Headlines: MBAs do TFA

MBA applications for Teach For America are up 7x over the past three years from 91 applicants to 641. TFA takes students out of top schools and matches them with underserved public schools.

I thoguht they only recruited undergrads

They’re do.

I thought they were a NOT-for-profit.

They are.

I thought they only paid public school teach salaries.

They do.

You know I hate it when people are motivated by things other than money! [disconnect]

I know. It’s okay.. But there are a bunch of great programs out there. Education Pioneers and The Broad Foundation also have great programs specifically aimed to get MBAs into educational system.

And if that doesn’t work out. You can always get a job in banking

http://www.businessweek.com/bschools/content/apr2011/bs2011041_412443.htm
http://broadresidency.org/
http://www.educationpioneers.org/


(2) Headlines: Babson Opens Satellite Campus

Babson’s Olin School is opening a satellite campus in Silicon valley. Well actually, San Fransisco.

Schools have satellite campus? What is the plural of campus? Campooses? Campusi?

Well if you remember back to your Latin …

What Latin?

I don’t have time to lecture you on the genitive neuter but

let’s just stick with Campuses.

I think the basis of this conversation highlights the absurdity of this plan. This is basically designed to milk the brand.

Noooooo, They are reinforcing the brand. Babson has a really tight focus on being the entrepreneurship school. You want to be the entrepreneurship brand, so you go to be in Silicon Valley. It enhances their credibility.

Is anyone else doing this?

Wharton has had a program there for a decade.

They do?! How come I haven’t heard of it?

Becuase it’s basically an Executive MBA program designed to milk the brand.

http://www.ft.com/cms/s/2/1051cd96-5c6a-11e0-8f48-00144feab49a.html?ftcamp=rss#axzz1Ifzz5f4k


(3) Jargon: Teaching
Our jargon this week is a word most MBAs don’t know, and you should because its a career path and something you should consider: Teaching

1. Give back
2. Help Children
3. Contribute to society

I was just kidding. [defeated look from miro]

Banking..

(4) Business School Tip of the Week: Teach something.

Give a formal talk or presentation

What do you mean?

Engineer a situation where you get to be the leader giving a talk, lecture, or presentation.

Why would I do that?

Build Credibility.

Don’t I already need to be credible to give a talk?

Credibility is a chicken and egg thing. No one is credible until they give their first talk. Afterwards, then you’ll have credibility. In job interviews, you’ll be able to say, oh I actually used to teach social media.

Build expertise

Tom, I came to business school to transition to being an entrepreneur. I don’t want to give another talk about how do to market research?

You should give your talk in something you want to go into. It’s okay for it to be a stretch topic, because after you commit to giving the talk, psychologically it will be a very powerful motivator to BECOME an expert in that topic.

Network

How so?

When you’re prepping for the talk, you can reach out to anyone. For example. suppose you’re giving a talk on M&A in education. That’s a great reason to reach out to Andy Rosen, the CEO of Kaplan.

So you ARE thinking about giving a little back in non-profit.

No, I’m actually thinking about A-ing someone in education.

What’s A-ing?

Acquiring.

Is that a thing?

No. It could catch on.

BONUS CONTENT TEASER
If you’re interested in more on-the-ground steps to give one of these talks, check out the bonus content where we’ll discuss a step-by-step guide.

(5) What’s on your Radar?
Polishing up our application for Mass Challenge. This is a start-up accelerator, and we need your help to make it to the next round.

Go to Bit.ly/Testive and vote us as 5 star, on the star ranking on the upper right of the page.

Lord knows, we don’t ask you for much. And while you’re there, remember not to vote for anyone else.

HubSpot's CEO Explains Why All Bankers and Consultants are Miserable

HubSpot's CEO, Brian Halligan, explains that every MBA needs "a good job and a good mattress," and banking will only get your the second one. McGill's Desautels Business School is fined $2M for raising their tuition 1882%. And TheRealTomRose begrudgingly admits that nobody likes being a banker.

(1) Headlines: McGill Fined for Raising MBA Tuition 1882%

So the government of Quebec is fining McGill’s Desautels School of Management $2M for raising prices from $1700/year to $32K

Is that in American dollars or moose dollars?

Who cares? That’s a whooping 1882% increase.

Students must be pissed?

They’re actually not. The school needs the money. Just a few years ago they weren’t even ranked in the FInancial Times top 100 and they had to fire ⅓ of their tenured faculty.

Woah, no faculty, who’s in charge of not meeting with students? What happens to ex-canadian tenured faculty?

They’re fine. It’s Canada. They’re getting free healthcare, smoking weed, getting gay married. You know … Canadian Stuff.

Wait, so let me get this:
Tuition used to be $1700
And how many students? Okay, 60 students.

And the entire tuition-based-revenue of McGill last year was $102k

I PAID MORE FOR MY MBA THAN THE ENTIRE B-SCHOOL AT MCGILL LAST YEAR. I feel so alive. Like a true American consumer.

So the school is saying they have to raise prices to be able to compete and offer a good education. And goverment is saying that this violates Qubec’s equal access to education law by making school so expensive.

So what kind of statement are they making to the government here?

I think I’ve got a pretty clear idea what they are saying here. [finger] CENSORED

The human interest story is really interesting here Miro, but lets ask the more important question. Is this move NPV positive? Let’s run the numbers.

What are we losing per year. 1.2M in gov’t subsidies
What is the one time fine? $2M
What is the student revenue at 60 students w/ $32k tution? 1.92M
This project has an IRR of 44.338%

How did you do that so fast?

Miro, I’m in finance, this is what I do. (run the model before hand and then pretend like I came up with the numbers on the spot.)

Wow. that’s really NPV positive. And that makes sense, because all you have to do is pay the fine in the first year and then you more than make up the loss in government funding with the tuition increase.

And I have a solution to that problem.

DON’T PAY THE FINE!

You can’t do that, it’s illegal!

If I’m not getting the government subsidy, then what do I care if I have an outstanding parking ticket?

I can’t believe you would seriously suggest that an entire business go rogue.

Dude, it’s Canada.

http://www.ft.com/cms/s/2/c30298ba-570d-11e0-9035-00144feab49a.html?ftcamp=rss#axzz1I183RQXV

(2) Guest: Brian Halligan

He’s the CEO of HubSpot. HubSpot is an all-in-one marketing software platform for small and medium-sized businesses. It’s one of the hottest start-ups in Boston, the USA, the universe.

Author: Inbound Marketing

HubSpot has been in the news lately for closing a $32 Million Dollar D round with the biggest names in money: Sequoia, Google Ventures, Sales Force, Matrix, General Catalyst

And here’s the best part MBA’s, They’re hiring. [Jazz hands]

Brian, for those of us who aren’t high on entrepreneurship. What is 30 second overview of HubSpot?

You just raised $32M at rumored to be a $200M valuation. At this point, it’s $1 Billion, or bust. You’re on a run rate of $25M this year, I can’t sleep at night thinking about it.

Brian, brian I need your help. My heart says starup. I’ve got an offer from Deutsche Bank for $150k in starting salary with another $50 in guaranteed bonus comp. Talk me down man, talk me down. I will do it, I’ll sign it!

(3) Jargon: COCA. Cost of Customer Aquisition.

So this is the cost that it takes to get each new customer on board. Take all the marketing and sales you spend in a money and divide it by new customers. That’s your COCA.

Brian, you talk a lot about these at Hub Spot. Why is that so important?

(4) Business School Tip of the Week: What is a tip for all MBA’s.

(5) What’s on your Radar?
Miro: My wife is away
Tom: Moving

USNews says Stanford is Number 1

USNews moves Stanford up to number 1 in the business school rankings. Tom and miro find a student commuting more than 20,000,000 miles for an MBA. And, the official MBA Stimulus Package is announced.

(1) Headlines: Self Worth Quantified

USNews Business School Rankings are Out. Stanford is # 1

Blowing Harvard out of the water by TYING them in every single metric used in the ranking scheme

Except for the least important one: acceptance rate.

Isn’t acceptance rate important? Not really, it’s only 1% of U.S. News’s Rating. The most important things by far are a peer review ranking (deans) and recruiter rankings. (Combined to make 40% of the score.)

The unprecedented 50 point plunge in the Crummer school of business. John Byrne over at Poets and Quants thinks that this is basicallyl due to volatility in the lower parts of the rankings.

We think he may have overlooked the more obvious explanation. It’s called the Crummer school of business.

How much money do you have to get from a donor before you name your school Crummer? My name is Terrible. I’d like to name your school.

Don’t all these rankings create a reinforcing cycle? If you rely on peer reviews, the top schools stay the top schools because everyone looks to this list.

This is the way rankings should be. The exerts in a field always know other experts in their field. So, if you poll experts, you’ll get a pretty good idea of who the top people are.

That has nothing to do with quality of education. You basically just reinvented the popular group in high school.

Yes, I did. But this time, for $150k and a 760 GMAT, you can now be a part of that group.

Finally, justice will be served! Oh chess club, you are finally paying off!

And if you play your cards right, you’ll soon be a member of the Scotch club.

Do we acutally have a Scotch club.

I’m CERTAIN we have a Scotch club.

(2) Business Porn: This week’s business porn is on frequent fliers.

As you know, many Executive MBA’s travel to get their degrees. Many travel from New York to Boston, for example.

Harsh Gupta, a student at Kellogg’s Exec Ed. Program, is commuting to Chicago from Dubai!

He’s traveling round trip every other week.

He’s traveling 14,512 miles per round-trip.

He’s traveling a total of 20 million miles to get his degree.

That’s like going to the moon and back 50 times.

Travel alone will be costing him $180k. That’s more than tuition!

(3) Jargon: Failure Mode

Failure mode; this is the most common form of failure in a system. Thats what differentiates it from the failure average or failure median.

Used in a business context, this is the most common ways in which a project fails to meet it’s goals.

So, you might say, a common failure mode of The MBA Show is when MiroKaz tries to make a math joke.

What I love about this term is that it is a non-threatening way to talk about what things can go wrong and avoid them. Have a conversation with your team about potential failure modes and how you will avoid them.

It’s a lot easier than saying how how is Jim going to screw this one up.

(4) Business School Tip of the Week: The MBA stimulus package.

So before we get to our tip. Let me outline a scenario for you. You’re a b-school student. You have no job and a huge amount of loans. You decided to go on a lavish vacation for spring break. How does that sound to you?

It seems like people are basically taking out loans to pay for vacation.

Would you recommend that?

No, that sounds like a terrible idea.

So what’s our business school tip of the week?

Take out a loan and go on vacation.

This pains me.

MBA’s, as you know, our economy isn’t doing so hot. One way to get out of this is to do what Americans do best. Spend baby spend. So this year, we’re calling spring break “The MBA Stimulus Package”. You’re welcome America.

Dude, you’re 100K in the hole. How is this possibly good idea?

In b-school time is precious. And in many b-school jobs is that time is EVEN MORE precious. For many people, this is the last opportunity you will get for a while to take this kind of time off.


(5) What’s on your Radar?
Miro: Going to Mexico
Tom: I’m going on a cruise in the west Caribbean.

Qaddafi's Son Kicked Out of B School for 'Crushing the Rebellion.'

Should brutal tyranny be ground for explosion? Spain's IE Business School gives the boot to Qaddafi's son. Also, NYU Stern and Tisch graduate the first class of MBA/MFA's.

(1) Headlines: Your favorite ranting lunatic has had his son expelled from business school.

Charlie Sheen has a son?

No, I’m talking about Muammar Qaddafi

Qaddafi’s Son expelled from B-School
Khamis Gaddafi was expelled from Spain’s IE Business school. While supposed to be doing his required internship he was instead “leading an elite military brigade in Libya trying to crush the rebellion.”

Now, on your resume, you’ll want to phrase that starting with a verb to show action. I would suggest that you start with “crushed”. And if possible, you want to include a number.

What sounds better? Crush rebelling, killing innocent civilians, or Crushed rebellion killing 30,000 innocent civilians.

Well, that certainly satisfies his leadership requirement. Now all he has to focus on is “Client Service”

Can you imagine what it would be like to be on this guy’s core team.

Ehm, excuse me Mr. Gaddafi, your core team has some to me with some grievances.

For example, under priorities I notice that Dave has ranked “academics” as number one, And, I see that your top business school priority is “Winning my father’s affection by learning how to exploiting the resources of the Libyan people”.

Yes, but that is quickly followed by my second priority: “getting a job at McKinsey”.

Oh, we’re getting breaking news here. Apparently even though Mr. Godaffi has been expelled, he is apparently refusing to step down from his post as Vice President of the Sports Analytics Conference.

(2) NYU is about graduate its first combination MBA/MFA class

This is the combination of two powerhouse programs. Stern is a powerhouse business school and Tisch is a powerhouse film school. This program gets you a degree from both schools in 3 years.

MBA should not be allowed to make videos

Why are we spending all this money trying to recruit more students. We already have students. Let’s just sell them a second degree.

Here’s a real business insight: It’s far easier to sell MORE to your existing customers than it is to find new customers

Christ! MBA programs have finally figured out the info-mercial model.

Operators are standing by … If you act fast, for just 1 additional year of school, we’ll throw in [together] an MBA.

(3) Jargon: Space

That’s not jargon. Everyone knows that mean a business area, industry, opportunity

The way that I found out that this was jargon is by using it in a conversation with my wife, and she accused me of using jargon.

Have you ever tried to defend someting as not being jargon to someone.

In fact I did just then. I said, no it’s not jargon. Everyone uses that term.

EXCACTLY!

And she said, yeah everyone you KNOW in your MBA program..

And that’s when I realized that jargon is defined by the listener.

For example, if you're talking to a 5-year-old, EVERYTHING is jargon. Or any MBA a program ranked lower on USNews and World Report.


(4) Business School Tip of the Week: Priority matrix
This is a great tool for aligning teams

So I did, this with my core team. We each ranked four area in order of priority
Beers - Fun
Babies - Family
Bucks - Job
Books -Academics


That’s all great, but it’s so dorky. Do you really want to be that guy who says, “Lets’ all hold hands and discuss our life goals.”

No, but you do want to have SOME KIND of discussion about this. Here is the line that I use and have found to be effective:

“What level of performance are you guys thinking about for this project?”

Or you can try my strategy of sending an email that says “Just so you know, I prioritize efficiency over quality.”

Yes, there is always the dictator method.

Apparently today’s episode is all about dictators.

(5) What’s on your Radar?
Miro: Taking the SAT
Tom: I’m taking the SAT on Saturday. I feel like i’m in high school again. [texting on phone] And afterwards we can hang out at the mall and buy Mrs. Field’s cookies with my dad’s credit card. Crap, I’m out of cellphone points, I’ll text you tomorrow.

How to get a job in the healthcare industry

Discover how to get a job in the healthcare industry and watch Tom and Miro learn the difference between 'pharmaceuticals' and 'biotech'. HBS second year Jonathan Sheffi schools us in the art of using cold email to get a job in the healthcare industry. Also, Tuck centralizes recycling.

(1) Headlines: MBA’s, it’s a sad day today. Business schools are cutting back. The recession finally hits home.

Just listen to the extreme measures that we are going to:
(1) Tuck centralized recycling,
(2) HBS isn’t running the A/C at night!

That’s rich person cutting back. Here’s a real cutback:
Ohio canceled their full time MBA Program.

What? What?! oh god, oh god. This is the beginning of the end. The room is spining. I knew it, i knew it. The mayan calendar was right! This is the beginning of the end. Someone get me a scotch. [breathe into bag]

Whoa! What Ohio said, is tht they can’t be good at everything. So they are focusing on their part time program.

Okay, I’m over it.

This is the silver lining of bad times. You can get the political will to make the effeiciency cuts that probably should have been done in good times.

So you’re saying that all-you-can-eat lobster is no longer integral to an MBA education? This is what it’s like to go to med school.

http://www.businessweek.com/bschools/content/feb2011/bs20110214_474769.htm

(2) Guest

Our guest on the show today is Jonathan Sheffi. Jonathan is a 2nd year at HBS He has worked with Amgen, the FDA and the Broad institue, and has worked in health care consulting. He also writes a great healthcare blog at JonathanSheffi.com

So, good god, health care. Pharma, bio-tech, delivery, hospital. These all mean the same thing to me. Fix me. Go.

Oh wow, that’s alot of ground? So if I’m an MBA which one of these should I get job in?

And what is the general Salary range for these jobs?

I’ve been hearing a bunch about the Obama care revolution. How much of that money has been earmarked for MBA’s?

So what did you do?
Pac 10 cheerleader with a luscious bosom

So what routes can MBAs use to get into this industry?

What’s going to take for me to get one of these jobs?
-what was your background
-signaling conversation

So why would anyone go into health care?


http://www.ft.com/cms/s/2/1643c260-3b7f-11e0-9970-00144feabdc0.html

“Healthcare reform is one of the catalysts but [MBA interest] started before that,” says George Telthorst, director of the Center for the Business of Life Sciences at Indiana’s Kelley School of Business. “Healthcare is a social good and I think a lot of young MBAs realise they can do good but also have a more stable career in the future.”

(3) Jargon: atorvastatin

We try to pronounce that and fail.

He gets it right and explains why it’s important that you be able to pronounce drug names.

This is the drug name of Lipitor, the most proiftable drug in the world. It sold US$12.4 billion last year.

So, if you’re going into health care, you should probably be able to say atorvastatin.

(4) Business School Tip of the Week: Cold email.

How did you get your Job at Amgen?

Cold email, it really does work, but it works in volume.

(5) What’s on your Radar?

Tom: I’m going to a dude ranch in new york. And you have no idea how hard it was for me to find an exclusively republican dude ranch in new york.
Miro: Wife’s out of town. You know what that means at the Kazakoff house: slasher films and Chinese food out of the delivery box..
J: Sloan BioInnovations 2011